January 2011
20 posts
Yup. Spammin with bad grammar… and poor spelling to boot! I did already warn that I was drinking. And I do so try to rarely imbibe these days… already I’ve contemplated deleting some things… but I so desperately want this to be an open and honest extension of myself… I may delete any number of things in the next few days, but with or without sobriety, I promise to be...
She made the scene! I did no such thing. Perhaps in my own small way I started the onslaught, but it was never my intention. I am confused on so many frontiers, but this is not one… our children draw a line. Dependant upon us for so much we strive to shelter them from the ugly perversion that can become thosed we love. I did not mean to allow them the glimpse of mine own. You have seen me as...
Didn’t see you. Almost. Sorry I squeezed you too hard. Sorry my heart squeezed harder. You don’t understand what happens to me with you… I barely do. I’m sorry I let my companion patronize you, and your beautiful children. I did not allow her tresspass. I simply did not have the consciousness to recognize and stop her soon enough for my own liking, much less yours....
Life has been so good to me. I’m far too fortunate for one individual to be. I am thankful.
And in other news, I am tipsy and frisky. Let us hope for action this night! ;)
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I saw you. I ran. So fast. And then I saw you and I stopped. I missed you. I had finally given up – finally moved on – finally convinced myself to stop thinking about you each and every day… That’s when I found you. Nearly stumbled upon you. And the welcome I had so longed for – It was there with abundance. Ha. I was casual. Calm. Cool And YOU were jittery & giddy, touchy – feely. When we...
Today: a great day to be alive.
I am inexplicably happy today. Soaking up some sun (despite the chilly air) and cranking up the radio when conversation allows. Joy has been a fickle friend of late, but when it warmed my cheeks this morning, I grabbed on with both hands, ready for whatever comes.
I keep finding really neat blogs with great quotes and all that jazz… with posts every few minutes. LITERALLY. I think the amount of new stuff on my dashboard would require a much larger time commitment than I can honestly offer were I to follow these lovely folks, but it is still refreshing to enjoy in glimpses.
Tumblr, I think I’m falling for you, but I’m being smart this time...
Just figured out how to use hash tags. Believe it or not I’m getting more hip to the stuff I have already begun to think of as “what the kids do these days”… and yes, I’m prematurely OLD.
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“Thought process on paper”… that’s what I reduced my passion to. You didn’t believe me. Good.
I don’t believe me. These words… I try to make my love for this language seem smaller, but it consumes me. It is who I am… it is all I am some days. It separates me from this world & yet it draws me nearer. On my knees. The joy in pain is something few are familiar with, but smiling through sorrow is...
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So Blessed. Feel Chosen. That you would allow me the trespass upon your inner thoughts – your ache, your peace, your settlements. I can’t help but hunger to know the rest. I can’t stop a sudden longing to arrest your attentions if I might. And just fall into conversation (with or without words) so that I may enjoy you entirely… beautiful boy you seem to be. Please don’t mislead me. Rarity. You...
Journals! I was slowly transferring entries into word documents, and I’ve found some of the files! I’ll be posting moslty the promised material for the next several weeks, and this thrills me. :)
Recording
I have been so excited about recording and I’ve been practicing and polishing so I’d be ready. Tonight, just a few short sessions in - I am incredibly frustrated. Oh, and dumb. I. Feel. Dumb. I compare this feeling to my home remodel. KNOWING it is going to take more time/money/energy/etc than you bargain for and getting to that point where you’re surpassing the bargained amount...
How can you be irresistable to me (as you have always been) when I’m now repulsed by you? You can’t be both. Not without tortuting me. I know what you did. Additionally~ it is getting harder and harder to be attracted to someone who treats me like shit. I must finally be getting over that bad boy allure…. just in time for you to decide you’re not a man anymore?
I am at a total loss as to what I’m supposed to say… what I am supposed to do… how I ought to feel. I just know how I already do feel, and even that is too much to sort through. Congratulations. You’ve finally rendered me speechless~ and for more than mere moments.
you don’t even bother to pick up your phone to call…
“Shots!” He said.
“No thanks. Snowboarding tomorrow, remember?”
“Oh, so thats why we have to go home? You’re a gentlewoman and a scholar.”
“Wow, you are far more inebriated than I realized…”
*pause*
“So you ready to do shots?” He asks again.
After setting the alarm and telling him that our morning was only five hours...
New year! Be happy! :)