Quit drinking. Taking anti depressants, anti anxiety meds, and sleeping pills. Level out. Calm my ass down enough to start remembering who I was before all the layers of pretension wrapped around me so tight. I built that. I created a version of me that may be my own greatest foe. Unending. Viscious, but delicious cycles of unexpected highs and lows, punctuated with great MIND blowing sexual experiences. She is carnage and need. She is so far from free.
Quit life. Choose a new direction, shake it up- be original in some fresh way- some tender moments being made in the “here” of a moment that could have been alive but for the factors, was not…
Working myself into circles until the cicles are wide and drawn lines across the energy of every word, every motion, every thing living and breathing contributes. I beg to offer my best, I beg to come fourth unto this endeavor with a clean slate each day. All the patience of Job to have as mine own and to share with this family.
I am changing. This is the major elemental shift here.I am changing. But the love is ever the same. Still learning.
13:1-8 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, [1] but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…
